I can't believe I'll be beginning my bike tour up to Vancouver Island, BC in as little as seven days. I've quit my job, packed my things, and have been making a mental gear checklist in my head up until now. While this process is exciting, it's very stressful and unlike my previous pre-adventure planning which usually consisted of little more than leaving everything behind on a whim.
I have to find a place to store my things, primarily my artwork and a few sentimental zines/nic-nacs, for cheap. Everything else is replaceable.
I have to make sure I have everything I need for this ride. (I still don't have an extra set of tubes, a patch kit, or a light-weight pump.)
I'm in the middle of painting three different pieces (two at request and one is a gift) before I leave the Bay Area.
And, I'm trying to make sure I have all of the songs I've learned on the uke written down in case I forget them.
Despite the stress of planning, the excitement and promise of freedom weighs much heavier in my mind.
I can't wait to forget about the anxiety caused by capitalistic endeavors. Between the preconceived notion that a human's value is based off of what one does for a living to the basic (and meaningless) importance placed on keeping track of time, I seriously cannot wait to just breathe, exercise, and think. (And write. And draw.)
I've always been a bit rebellious, but not for the sake of rebelling. My second grade teacher once asked me, "Nik, why aren't you doing your homework? You have a D for homework."
I replied, "I am doing my homework".
"Then why aren't you turning it in?"
I didn't understand why she needed to see what I had already concluded. I was okay with learning on my own. However, my teacher let me know that I can't do that. That I had to turn it in. I had to show other people my progress so they could confirm it for themselves. So that I could be a part of the system.
I turned in my homework from then on, but started skipping school in sixth grade until I graduated high school. I never had below a 3.0 average, but I did get reminded constantly that I couldn't just break the rules like that. What can I say, I was bored.
I can't tame that part of me. I can't magically make myself fall into the expectations of this society.
I like spontaneity far too much.
My achievements/measure of success feel alien and they really shouldn't.
I came to California as a last ditch effort to find out if I could be happy working 9 to 5 as long as it was a career path I enjoyed. As long as I was happy with where I was living.
But I began to supplement the growing void with greasy junk food and new clothing and alcohol.
Of course, these things just made me more depressed. Especially with myself. Who was I now?
Using the money I made to distract myself from the fact that my only meaning was to make money.
I'm glad I came out here though, because that final piece of the illusion has been destroyed for me.
My life is an adventure and I will live it.
Anywho, enough with the seriousness!
This week was eventful to say the least. I got to cross something off my bucket list:
I jumped out of a plane! And it was incredible!
I might just be addicted to thrill-seeking at this point. What makes you feel more alive than death?
Also, you should follow my twitter @NikRye if you're not already. I'll be posting pictures and such much more often than this blog will be updated, including a countdown until we are off.
Bambi gives Hunter all the best bicycle fixin' advice :3
Here's to what makes you happy,
Nik
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